Help me..let you

​I’m terrified Ill screw shit up. Ive lost allot of me. I am struggling to get it back. I know I was unfair..I know my head has been hijacked by every shattered piece of my history. I know I’ll meet every move forward with awkward resistance. Worried the past will repeat. I’m hoping patience and love will be shown…and forgotten I won’t be…my heart strings tug and it scares me crazy…help me…let you…Because I won’t see things like you instantly…my fear will take flight before a valid thought does process…pull me closer and calm my fear..cause my fear is all I hear…walk with me in my head and see how fucked I truly am. If you could understand one thing and retain this bit..I am scared to feel too good. It makes no sense,I know this too. But what’s common isn’t common sense. Every thought swirls and twist and thinks and flees…catching one thought one word..to sort it out..is beyond my grasp my reach..I doubt..I bleed…I scream and shout..inside my head is boxing bout. Help me…let you…love me…help me see..not everyone leaves.